Masturbation and pornography addiction are intimately related and most addicts of both do not know where masturbation addiction ends and pornography addiction begins. Many addicts get no pleasure from pornography alone. The porn images stimulate masturbation and then masturbation provides the very real high that causes the addiction and so it goes round and around… Science bears this out and is discussed in my article on “The Basic Science of Pornography Addiction”.
The types of pornography that addicts use as their drug to masturbate to are diverse and range from standard photographs and scenes to hentai drawings, anime cartoon porn to webcams and filming themselves doing sexual acts and then masturbating to it – and everything in between.
Addicts can have porn sessions (or are “porning” as many addicts call it) that last up to and beyond 12-24 hours or even days. There is no typical length of a porning session/ porn bender and the length of them very much depends upon where the addict is in relation to how far progressed their addiction is. Some, in the early days of their addiction, can have numerous sessions per week that can last anywhere from between 2 to 8 hours whilst others are porning every day and every chance they can – even at work with “safe for work” (SFW) porn for quick fixes (which are photographic or cartoon porn scenes disguised in things like food stuffs. Websites exist that cater for just this niche.).
Many cannot make it more than 2 days without relapsing again. Some fight the addiction and can go months without a relapse but when overtaken by the compulsion to porn again – following being triggered – do so against their will – or more specifically – against their soul or higher self – and find their addiction begins again where they left off and becomes progressively worse with each relapse. The number of genital orgasms of both sexes varies per session. Some addicts can orgasm up to 15 times a day or more – every day – depending on how escalated they are in their addiction.
Porn addicted youngsters in High School often have to go to the bathroom to masturbate during classes when overtaken by compulsive and obsessive porn thoughts which dominate their minds. Like porn addicts of all ages, remembered pictures and videos run through their minds – often constantly – distracting them from everything else. Equally though, addicts of all ages get overtaken often with the urge to use porn and masturbate even if they are not thinking about porn and cannot settle or function until they do.
The same happens when porn addicts of all ages try and sleep. Porn keeps running through their minds and makes them unable to sleep for often hours at a time. They then have to masturbate again to release the chemicals prolactin and serotonin that will help them fall asleep. Porn addict’s minds become dominated with pornographic thoughts. The scenes and images they have seen are burnt into their memories – often for life. When pornography addicts try and quit porn, porn thoughts of things they have seen roll round their minds like marbles and torment them. Recovering addicts can still remember these images many years after they last used porn as a drug.
Porn addicts often feel forced by their addiction to masturbate in public places – like changing rooms in stores – to relieve the acute angst feeling that builds up in them until they are driven to distraction by it and feel like are going to explode. If they don’t masturbate at these times, they often cannot cope with the irritability and agitation that comes with not having ejaculated regularly. Focusing becomes almost impossible at these times. Sometimes though, addicts will also masturbate in public places to satisfy the escalating ‘acting out’ aspect of their addiction too – i.e.: for the ‘thrill of it’.
When their life situation allows it, porn addicts can spend a whole day or days viewing pornography with the only interruption being to answer the phone or feed an animal etc. Many don’t eat during sessions and some complain of not having eaten properly for weeks at a time. When porning, food is not on their minds. As the addiction escalates, addicts often miss breakfast and are always having to rush to work as they are exhausted from having been up most of the night porning and again after they wake up before work. When they can, and are in the throws of a full on porn and masturbation bender, they can do a full 24 hours plus of porning with no food or water and enter what they describe as a ‘sexual trance’ where they just cannot think or rationalize at all.
During these times addicts describe feeling like ‘zombies’. They try to sleep but have to keep on masturbating all night until it is time to get up to go to work or school (often with pornography on their mobile phones in bed with them – and often, if adult, with their partners in the bed next to them). Afterwards, they are often extremely depressed, have suicidal thoughts, are utterly exhausted, socially phobic and struggle to shave or wash (male and female addicts describe the same symptoms.) They also obsess during these times about how it all got so out of hand. And then the cycle starts again and they are held hostage once more by their addiction. Their lives can go on like this for years. They feel like people can see in their eyes what they have been doing the night/ day before. This can haunt them day after day for years.
Many addicts start porning when they get home from work/ school etc and before they know it, it is 3-4 am and they have not done what they intended to do before the session started. Some spend entire days in and out of various adult chat-rooms and acting out on their webcams as well as looking at pornography and masturbating. Many porn addicts – during the course of their addiction career – can masturbate to the point where they injure themselves or develop painful sores or urethral infections where they feel like they are “urinating razor blades”. (The same is often the case for women addicts too who use unclean sexual implements as a pseudo penis during benders and also develop cystitis related symptoms.) Doctors often mis-diagnose male addicts during these times and believe the health problem is a sexually transmitted disease when it is impossible to be so due to the fact that the men had invariably not had sex with anyone for a long time – if ever.
It is very common for porn addicts to have a pattern during benders of being obsessed with finding very specific types of porn images or scenes and can spend hours or even days searching for them. It becomes utterly frustrating for them after a time trying to get all the boxes ticked which will give the person the super heightened arousal state they need to genitally orgasm and can drive the addict to feeling like they will explode with the frustration at not finding exactly what they have in mind. What they are specifically looking for can change day by day depending upon their mood on any given day or how escalated they are in their addiction. They will jump around from scene to scene, picture to picture frantically trying to find the “perfect” image or scene and can end up hanging on for hours in their search and not genitally orgasm. The experience of being that obsessed can be very frightening to some addicts and they are often left traumatized afterwards. When they do eventually find the “perfect” picture or scene and orgasm, they then collapse in an exhausted heap and often instantly fall asleep then wake up afterwards emotional wrecks.
Another common theme is getting bored with not finding the exact porn they have in mind and go to walk away from the computer – only to come back to it again in seconds and begin the process all over again.
The addiction is a like a parasite which drains them of life. They feel like they are in chains which they cannot break free from. They are under the direction of a brutal compulsion to do porn over which they feel they have no control. Many addicts speak of feeling like they are constantly living life in a boxing ring being beaten black and blue by their addiction to pornography. Some describe it also like being in quick sand; whilst others say it is like drowning.